We are all living in unprecedented and challenging times and I am working with many clients who are dealing with a whole load of challenges they didn’t see coming.
“There was no way anyone of us could predict, or even think about, the situation we all find ourselves in now”.
I am meeting clients from all walks of life and business who are not feeling OK and want support to manage the feelings and emotions they’re dealing with right now. So, I’d like to help you think about how you can live more bravely.
Give yourself permission to not feel OK.
Sometimes life is difficult, scary and sad. It’s really important to give yourself permission to acknowledge these feelings and your behaviours as a result of them. These feelings may also change completely from week to week and day to day. You may feel like you are in an ‘emotional spin dryer’ going from one state to another and to another.
It’s OK to not feel OK!
Acknowledge how you are feeling. This level of recognition will allow you to connect with yourself.
Some emotions will feel good and others may not, however, they are all important and relevent and need to be heard. Acknowledging them is not about giving them control, but ‘sitting with your emotions’ and embracing your own humanity. It’s all about self-compassion.
Sometimes feeling bad is the best thing you can do for yourself; not because having a positive outlook isn’t important, because it is. However, trying to be upbeat and postive all the time and sticking a smile on your face and ‘looking on the bright side of life’ can be exhausting and make you feel worse, if it’s not genuine.
Acceptance. Life is not supposed to be plain sailing.
It will be full of challenging and turbulant times along with wonderful, rich and fullfilling times too. This may be a new and unfamiliar situation, however, your feelings and emotions are still the same as when you’ve felt them before. You have managed these feelings and emotions before and you know can deal with them now, as eventually they will pass.
Step back. Try looking at your emotions from a different perspective.
What do you see and what do others see when you are feeling like this?
Recognition. When you are honouring how you are feeling and what your situation is, that’s the time for recognition.
Recognise where you are now and where you want to be.
Consider what is in your control and what isn’t. Focus on the things you can change. What could have a more positive impact on you?
Try this execise:
Draw a big circle:
- Write inside the circle all of the things you are dealing with, that are creating these emotions and feelings, which and are in your control.
- Next, write outside of the circle, all of the things you are dealing with, that are creating these emotions and feelings, which are NOT in your control.
- Examine and reflect on everything you have written and created here, both inside and outside of your circle and ask these questions:
- How much is ouside of your circle and therefore outside of your control?
- How much energy are you giving to the things you’ve identified that are outside of your control?
- What would you like to change?
- Which things can you control and influence more easily and quickly?
- Where do you want to focus your energy, time and attention?
It is so powerful to name and see feelings and emotions and to allow yourself to not need to be in complete control of everything.
If you would like to explore how Coaching can help you, head over to my website and read my article on The Power of Coaching where there is a free Coaching exercise to try out. Don’t forget my offer of a free 30 minute Coaching Conversation with me if you’d like to talk about how Career Coaching can help you.
